After Two Days In The Hospital, I

After Two Days In The Hospital, I Turn To The Nurse.

It Is Well To Remember That There Are Five Reasons For Drinking: The Arrival Of A Friend, One's Present Or Future Thirst, The Excellence Of The Cognac, Or Any Other Reason

I Don't Believe In Dining On An Empty Stomach.

I Didn't Squawk About The Steak, Dear. I Merely Said I Didn't See That Old Horse That Used To Be Tethered Outside Here.

If I Had To Live My Life Over, I'd Live Over A Saloon.