Alcoholic: Anybody Who Drinks More Than I

A Woman Drove Me To Drink And I Didn't Even Have The Decency To Thank Her.

I Never Drink Water. I'm Afraid It Will Become Habit-forming.

Last Week, I Went To Philadelphia, But It Was Closed.

I Don't Object To Nine Aces In One Deck. But When A Man Lays Down Five Aces In One Hand... And Besides, I Know What I Dealt Him!

If I Had My Life To Live Over Again, I'd Live Over A Saloon.