Alcoholic: Anybody Who Drinks More Than I

Happiness Means Quiet Nerves.

I Believe In Tying The Marriage Knot, As Long As It's Around The Woman's Neck

When Doctors And Undertakers Meet, They Wink At Each Other.

There's No Such Thing As A Tough Child - If You Parboil Them First For Seven Hours, They Always Come Out Tender.

It's Quite True I'm Not Drinking Anymore; However, I'm Not Drinking Any Less Either.