All Bayonets Are Bad.

Oh, Don't The Days Seem Lank And Long When All Goes Right And Nothing Goes Wrong, And Isn't Your Life Extremely Flat With Nothing Whatever To Grumble At!

I Shall Carry To The Catacombs Of Age, Photographically Lined On The Tablet Of My Mind

I've An Irritating Chuckle, I've A Celebrated Sneer, I've An Entertaining Snigger, I've A Fascinating Leer; To Everybody's Prejudice I Know A Thing Or Two; I Can Tell A Woman's Age In Half A Minute--and I Do

I'm Really Very Sorry For You All, But It's An Unjust World, And Virtue Is Triumphant Only In Theatrical Performances.

When You Are Lying Awake With A Dismal Headache, And Repose Is Tabooed By Anxiety, I Conceive You May Use Any Language You Choose To Indulge In Without Impropriety.