All I Can Do Is Turn A

Here Was My First Lesson On The Resolutely Maintained Untidiness And Ill-health Of The English Upper Orders. In Baggy Evening Dress And Old Before Their Time, They Displayed Gapped And Tangled Teeth In Loosely Open Mouths. Gently Shedding Dandruff, They Lurched Across The Lawn. When They Stood At The Bar They Looked Like Lee Trevino Putting.

A Sense Of Humour Is Common Sense Dancing.

It Is Only When They Go Wrong That Machines Remind You How Powerful They Are.

The Rattle Of Plastic Keys Reminds Me Of A Squadron Of Butterflies Failing To Fight Their Way Out Of A Paper Bag.

In Between The Queen And The First Lady, Nancy Reagan, Sat Tony Richardson, Looking Very Calm. Later On It Emerged That This Was Because, Having Not Been Apprised Of The Placement Until He Was About To Sit Down, He Had Died Of Fright. To Have Expired Was To Be Fortunate.