As Soon As You Start Analyzing Comedy

Do You Want Me To Apologize After Every Joke? If It Doesn't Offend Somebody It's Probably Not A Joke. It's Probably An Observation That's Not Funny. It's Gotta Offend Somebody Somewhere.

I Can't Defend Someone Else's Jokes. I Can Only Defend My Jokes, And I Have To Live With My Own Jokes.

Instead Of Running For President, Why Don’t You Try Walking On A Treadmill?

I Like To Roast Things From The Inside Out. I Like To Know What's Going On.

People Are Not Afraid To Be Very Direct With Police. And I Think That's Part Of The Problem Is That People Are Angry At The Cops And Then The Cops Are Stressed Out And They, You Know, Pay It Backwards, So To Speak.