Back To School, To Prove To Dad

I Prefer Musicals, Because I Am The Best Dancer Who Ever Lived. The Best Plies, The Best Sashays, And By Far The Best-smelling Capezios.

How Do I Speak Spanish? Not Too Well. Paz Taught Me A Few Words That, If People Weren't Nice To Me, I Could Tell Them A Few Things. I Got To Study With [chef] Thomas Keller, Who We All Love As A Guy And Jim Had A Relationship With Him At [his Restaurant] The French Laundry.

I Did Rocks, All This Dumb Stuff. But Now It's Just Trying To Stay Afloat And Just Get Through The Days.

I've Been Called A Moron Since I Was About Four. My Father Called Me A Moron. My Grandfather Said I Was A Moron. And A Lot Of Times When I'm Driving, I Hear I'm A Moron. I Like Being A Moron.

I Don't Like Being On A Horse. That's The Only Negative Of Doing A Western. I Like The Whole Get Up, And I Look Great In A Hat. But I Get Tense Around Horses. So, If They Could Make A Fake Horse, Then I'd Do A Western.