Back To School, To Prove To Dad

God Gave Me Some Weird, Beautiful Scent That Makes Men And Women Go Crazy. People Compare It To Carvel. It Is A Whale Of A Smell.

Wrap The Turkey Up In Aluminum Foil My Brother Likes To Masturbate With Baby Oil.

I Like Sitting And Writing With My Buddies.

This Character Feels So Much Like My Brother. He Has Two Children. He Has A Wife. He Works With Me. He Chooses To Stay In New Hampshire Because He Wants His Kids To Grow Up In The School They Started With. He Doesn't Want Them To Lose Friends. He Is His Family's Hero.

If A Girl Breaks Up With Me, I Want Her To Just Die, Just Be Dead. Not 'cause I Hate Her So Much As It's Just Easier For When My Friends Go, 'hey, What Happened?' 'oh, She's Dead. I'd Still Be With Her, But She's Dead. What Can I Do? She Was Loving Me, But She's Dead.'