Before I Speak, I Have Something Important

Comedians Are A Much Rarer And Far More Valuable Commodity Than All The Gold And Precious Stones In The World.

Wages? You Want To Be Wage Slaves? Answer Me That! Of Course Not. What Is It That Makes Wage Slaves? Wages! I Want You To Be Free. Strike Off Your Chains! Strike Up The Band! Strike Three You're Out! Remember, There's Nothing Like Liberty, Except Colliers And The Saturday Evening Post. Be Free, Now And Forever. One And Individual. One For All And All For Me, And Tea For Two And Six For A Quarter.

Years Ago, I Tried To Top Everybody, But I Don't Anymore. I Realized It Was Killing Conversation. When You're Always Trying For A Topper You Aren't Really Listening. It Ruins Communication

Money Frees You From Doing Things You Dislike. Since I Dislike Doing Nearly Everything, Money Is Handy.

The Two Most Important Words In The World Are Honesty And Sincerity, If You Can Fake These You've Got It Made.