Being Around Blind People Is Always A

There Is One Person I Can Think Of Better Than Me. And That's Zach Braff. What A Cool Guy.

Compared To My Talents, Whoopi Goldberg Is Like One Of Those Fake Plastic Buddhas You Get At Dollar Stores. I Mean Really, I Fail To See The Humor In An Overweight Negro Woman With Dreadlocks, No Eyebrows, And Is Named After A Childish Term For Flatulence.

Don't Get Me Started On Cold Toilet Seats.

I Love The Holiday Season, Almost As Much As I Love Touching Myself In Front Of Orphans.

Yea, I Had A Dream Too. Looks Like Mine Came True.