Believe Me, If I Looked Good, It's

No Man Can Be Friends With A Woman He Finds Attractive. He Always Wants To Have Sex With Her. Sex Is Always Out There. Friendship Is Ultimately Doomed And That Is The End Of The Story.

A Lot Of College Graduates Approach Me About Becoming Screenwriters. I Tell Them, 'do Not Become A Screenwriter, Become A Journalist,' Because Journalists Go Into Worlds That Are Not Their Own. Kids Who Go To Hollywood Write Coming-of-age Stories For Their First Scripts, About What Happened To Them When They Were Sixteen. Then They Write The Summer Camp Script. At The Age Of Twenty-three They Haven't Produced Anything, And That's The End Of The Career.

What I Love About Cooking Is That After A Hard Day, There Is Something Comforting About The Fact That If You Melt Butter And Add Flour And Then Hot Stock, It Will Get Thick! It's A Sure Thing! It's A Sure Thing In A World Where Nothing Is Sure; It Has A Mathematical Certainty In A World Where Those Of Us Who Long For Some Kind Of Certainty Are Forced To Settle For Crossword Puzzles.

…the Amount Of Maintenance Involving Hair Is Genuinely Overwhelming. Sometimes I Think That Not Having To Worry About Your Hair Anymore Is The Secret Upside Of Death.

Most Of Us Live Our Lives Devoid Of Cinematic Moments.