Bombeck's Rug Rule: An Ugly Carpet Will

The Age Of Your Children Is A Key Factor In How Quickly You Are Served In A Restaurant. We Once Had A Waiter In Canada Who Said, "could I Get You Your Check?" And We Answered, "how About The Menu First?"

What's With You Men? Would Hair Stop Growing On Your Chest If You Asked Directions Somewhere?

For Years My Wedding Ring Has Done Its Job. It Has Led Me Not Into Temptation. It Has Reminded My Husband Numerous Times At Parties That It's Time To Go Home. It Has Been A Source Of Relief To A Dinner Companion. It Has Been A Status Symbol In The Maternity Ward.

One Thing They Never Tell You About Child Raising Is That For The Rest Of Your Life, At The Drop Of A Hat, You Are Expected To Know Your Child's Name And How Old He Or She Is.

Cleanliness Is Not Next To Godliness. It Isn't Even In The Same Neighborhood. No One Has Ever Gotten A Religious Experience Out Of Removing Burned-on Cheese From The Grill Of The Toaster Oven.