Brb, Ttyl Ok? Wow, I Saved A

I Believe That People, More Often Than Not, Act With The Best Possible Intentions. And When They Don't, That's Funny To Me. That's Why Comedy Ends Up Seeming Cynical, Because You're Talking About The Gap Between What People Say And What They Do.

Texas Governor Rick Perry Has Been In The Race Only Three Days, And He's Already Blowing Away The Competition Like It Is A Trespassing Coyote.

My Brother Billy Was The Joke Teller. My Brother Jim Had A Really Sharp, Cutting Wit. And The Teller Of Long Stories, That Was My Brother Ed. As A Child, I Just Absorbed Everything They Said, And I Was Always In Competition For The Laughs.

If Someone Does Offer You A Job, Say 'yes.' You Can Always Quit Later. Then At Least You'll Be One Of The Unemployed As Opposed To One Of The Never-employed. Nothing Looks Worse On A Resume Than Nothing.

Republicans And Nerds Have So Much In Common -- They Both Live In Fantasy Worlds And Have No Idea How To Relate To Women.