But I Have Bad Taste With A

We Want To Get People Laughing; We Don't Want To Offend Anybody.

If You're Alive, Make A Lot Of Noise, Because Life Is The Very Opposite Of Death.

My Job Is To Go Out And Entertain The Most People Possible.

There's No Such Thing As Too Far. If It Works It's Funny, If It Doesn't Work It's Too Far, It's Stupid. Really There's No Such Thing As "too Far." You're Joining The Politically Correct When You Use Words Like "too Far." You Don't Want To Join The Army Of Politically Correct.

The 2,000-year-old Man's Secrets Of Longevity 1. Don't Run For A Bus - There'll Always Be Another. 2. Never, Ever Touch Fried Food. 3. Stay Out Of A Ferrari Or Any Other Small Italian Car. 4. Eat Fruit - A Nectarine - Even A Rotten Plum Is Good.