Cell Phones Are Like A Dog's Nipples...

I Go To Pick Up A Girl In A Bar. I Say Will You Go Home With Me? She Says I Don't Know, Do You Have Cable? I Say No, But The Rope Should Work Just Fine.

I Don't Have To Tell You Folks About Scuba Diving. So, That'll Save Some Time.

I Was In A Bar The Other Night, Hopping From Barstool To Barstool, Trying To Get Lucky, But There Wasn't Any Gum Under Any Of Them.

Countries Are Making Nuclear Weapons Like There Is No Tomorrow.

I Was Walking Home One Night And A Guy Hammering On A Roof Called Me A Paranoid Little Weirdo. In Morse Code.