I Learned About Sex The Hard Way...

The Scots Are A Very Tough People. They Have Drive-by Headbuttings. In Glasgow A Sweatband Is Considered A Silencer.

My Girlfriend Told Me That She Was Seeing Another Man. I Told Her To Rub Her Eyes.

He Taught Me Never To Smile, Which Helps Me When I Visit Disaster Sites.

The Irs Sent Back My Tax Return Saying I Owed $800. I Said If You'll Notice, I Sent A Paper Clip With My Return. Given What You've Been Paying For Things Lately, That Should More Than Make Up The Difference.

Computers Aren't Intelligent, They Only Think They Are.