Charlie Sheen Is To Stand-up What Larry

Maybe I'm Corny, But I'm A Big Believer In Second Chances.

Comics Just Don't Retire. They Either Die Young Or They Go To 100.

Last Time I Was In Canada Celine Dion Had Just Given Birth To Identical Twins. Which Is Quite An Achievement Given Her Age And Face.

Comedians A Lot Of Times We're On The Road, We're By Our Self. We Come Home To New York To Our Empty One-bedroom Apartment, You Know, And We Need A Place To Go Where You See A Bunch Of Other Miserable People Sit Around And Eat A Corned Beef Sandwich.

Life Is Short. You Have To Be Able To Laugh At Our Pain Or We Never Move On.