Come On, Man, I Got A Full

What's Cool About Twitter Is That You Can Make A Joke About Something Very Of-the-moment Or Random That I Wouldn't Be Able To Joke About In Stand-up.

You Want What You Can't Have. And If Someone's Being Shitty To You, Just Move On. If Someone's Being Shitty To You, No Matter How Great They Are, That's Shitty, And You Don't Want Be With Someone Who Treats You Shitty.

The Problem Is There's A New Group. I'm Talking About This Tiny Slice Of People That Have Gotten Way Too Fired Up About The Trump Thing For The Wrong Reasons. I'm Talking About These People That As Soon As Trump Won, They're Like, We Don't Have To Pretend Like We're Not Racist Anymore. We Don't Have To Pretend Anymore. We Can Be Racist Again. Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, No, No. If You're One Of These People, Please Go Back To Pretending.

Yeah, I've Been A Little Down. Totally Natural. I'm Getting A Divorce, But Now I'm Ready To Pull Myself Up By Some G-strings.

No One's Trying To Get With Jugglers.