Don't Talk To Strangers. Sure, Unless You

If You Happen To Catch On Fire During The Show, Do Not Panic Or Wave Your Arms Around Or Scream Or We Wil Give Something To Panic And Wave You Arms Around And Scream About.

I Wasn't The Class Clown, But I Was Starting To Become The "crazy Guy" At Law School, Which Is The Guy Who Is Not So Much "crazy" As "annoying."

I Was Student Council President In High School, And Even In Law School, I Was Vice-president Of The Student Bar Association.

If You Can't Tell A Spoon From A Ladle, Then You're Fat!

It Feels Like Every Day Or Two, People On Twitter And The Internet Are Outraged About Something.