Drinking Makes Such Fools Of People, And

The Knocking Out Of A Pipe Can Be Made Almost As Important As The Smoking Of It, Especially If There Are Nervous People In The Room. A Good, Smart Knock Of A Pipe Against A Tin Wastebasket And You Will Have A Neurasthenic Out Of His Chair And Into The Window Sash In No Time.

I Know I'm Drinking Myself To A Slow Death, But Then I'm In No Hurry.

Birds Which Are The Same Color As The Foliage In Which They Nest Are Less Likely To Be Disturbed By Other Birds Who Want To Drop In And Chat, And Therefore Last Longer.

A Man Of Forty Today Has Nothing To Worry Him But Falling Hair, Inability To Button The Top Button, Failing Vision, Shortness Of Breath, A Tendency Of The Collar To Shut Off All Breathing, Trembling Of The Kidneys To Whatever Tune The Orchestra Is Playing, And A General Sense Of Giddiness When The Matter Of Rent Is Brought Up. Forty Is Life's Golden Age.

I Once Heard A Woman Laugh At That Most Tragic Moment In All Drama, The Off-stage Shot In "the Wild Duck," And I Afterward Had Her Killed, So There Will Be No More Of That Out Of Her.