Eat Turkey All Night Long, 50 Million

Hanukkah Is...the Festival Of Lights, Instead Of One Day Of Presents, We Get Eight Crazy Nights

One Night I Couldn't Sleep. It Was Like 2:00 In The Morning. I Was Thinking, 'what Can I Do?' I'm Watching Tv. I'm Like, 'let Me Do Something Else.' I'm Not Going To Fall Asleep For A Few Hours. What Are My Hobbies? There Was The Masturbation Option. I Skipped That Because Just Knowing My Kids Are Down The Hall I Felt Psychotic. So, I Went With Watching More Tv. I Couldn't Come Up With Anything. I Was Going, 'god, Read A Book.' Then I Was Like This, 'where Do I Keep The Books?' I've Got Nothing To Do But Watch Tv.

I Immediately Said Yes For One Reason And One Reason Only....netflix Rhymes With Wet Chicks.

My Hobbies Are Run-on Sentences.

The Problem With Me, As Far As Getting Married And Having A Family, Is That My Comedy Is So Important To Me. So I Don't Know If I'll Ever Be As Good A Dad As My Dad.