Elvis Is Dead And I Don't Feel

Baptists Never Make Love Standing Up. They're Afraid Someone Might See Them And Think They're Dancing.

When My Love Returns From The Ladies Room, Will I Be Too Old To Care?

Yankees Don't Understand That The Southern Way Of Talking Is A Language Of Nuance. What We Can Do In The South Is We Can Take A Word And Change It Just A Little Bit And Make It Mean Something Altogether Different.

Life Is A Sexually Transmitted Terminal Disease.

The Only Way That I Could Figure They Could Improve Upon Coca-cola, One Of Life's Most Delightful Elixirs, Which Studies Prove Will Heal The Sick And Occasionally Raise The Dead, Is To Put Bourbon In It.