Even When I Go To A Salad

I Had Never Done A Roast, But I Really Wanted To, Because It's So Different From Standup.

When I Have A Really Hot Date At A Show, I Definitely Make It A Point To Use Her Name. The Girls Really Love That.

Comedy Is Immediate. Comedy Is A Solo Mission. You're All By Yourself, Up There. And When You're In A Film, On A Set, It's A Collaborative Effort. It's About Me Being A Tool For Somebody Else To Create A Story And A Character From Nothing, From Their Imagination.

You Are The Director Of Your Own Life Story. Don't Cast Idiots Or People Will Walk Out During Your 2nd Act.

I Don't Like When Juice Wears Tights, Its A Horrible Combination When Juice Wears Tights.