Everyone In Comedy Thinks If You Go

I Think Actors Go Along A Continuum From Simon Callow Down To Kind Of Ross Kemp, And I Like To Think Of Myself As The Ross Kemp Of Comedy. He's Very Good In 'east Enders' Because He Plays A Version Of Himself. I Think I Can Play A Version Of Myself - That's About All I Can Do.

Jeremy Clarkson Is Rather Charming, But I Can't Stomach His Public Persona. I Don't Like His Casual Racism And Casual Misogyny.

I Thought I Was Funny As A Kid.

One Of The Guys That Used To Run It - For Some Reason I've No Idea Why He Used To Call Me The Sea Monster And I Was Just Looking Around For A Name And Thought That'll Do. That Lasted For A Couple Of Years Probably.

When You Cry, You Don't Look Very Attractive; You Look Snotty And Blotchy. People Seem To Manage To Cry Quite Prettily These Days, And To Me, That Smacks Of Not Being Very Genuine.