Everyone Thinks They Can Write A Play;

It Looks Different When You're Sober; I Thought I Had Twice As Much Furniture.

You Get Attached To The Way You Write, And I'm Attached To Notebooks. That's Where I Really Write The Plays. Just Two Or Three Pages At A Time, Then I Transfer To The Typewriter And Rewrite While I Type.

You Must Realize That Honorary Degrees Are Given Generally To People Whose Sat Scores Were Too Low To Get Them Into Schools The Regular Way. As A Matter Of Fact, It Was My Sat Scores That Led Me Into My Present Vocation In Life, Comedy.

The Body Of A Young Woman Is God's Greatest Achievement...of Course, He Could Have Built It To Last Longer But You Can't Have Everything.

I Understand. You Work Very Hard Two Days A Week And You Need A Five-day Weekend. That's Normal.