Festivus For The Restivus!

I Was In Front Of An Ambulance The Other Day, And I Noticed That The Word Ambulance Was Spelled In Reverse Print On The Hood Of The Ambulance. And I Thought, Well, Isn't That Clever. I Look In The Rear-view Mirror; I Can Read The Word Ambulance Behind Me. Of Course While You're Reading, You Don't See Where You're Going, You Crash. You Need An Ambulance. I Think They're Trying To Drum Up Some Business On The Way Back From Lunch.

What Is The Story With The Airport Sinks, That They Will Not Give Us A Twist-on Twist-off Human Faucet. "is It That Too Risky For The Human Population? We Have To Do The One-handed Pain-in-the-ass Alcatraz-style Faucets. "what Is It They Think We Will Do? Turn 'em All On Full, Run Out Into The Parking Lot, Laughing, Pushing Each Other Into The Bushes?

I'll Tell You One Of The Great Activities Is Skateboarding. To Learn To Do A Skateboard Trick, How Many Times Do You Gotta Get Something Wrong Til You Get It Right? ...and You Hurt Yourself, And You Learn To Do That Trick, Now You Got A Life Lesson. Every Time I See Those Skateboard Kids, I Think 'those Kids'll Be Alright.'

I Prefer The Old Theaters Because The Audience Is... Trapped.

You'll Fold Faster Than Superman On Laundry Day