Figure Out What To Do, Then Take

Having Sex Without A Condom Is Like Riding A Roller Coaster With Diarrhea. You Can't Just Throw Your Hands Up And Enjoy It.

People Have To Be Realistic, Or The Dream Just Drags On.

When You're Picking A Basketball Team, You'll Take The Brother Over The Guy With The Yarmulke. Why? Because You're Playing The Odds.

The Shuttle Is The Worst $20 You'll Ever Save. It Adds 90 Minutes To Whatever A Town Car Or Cab Would Have Been. You Have The Unenviable Choice Between Being Dropped Off Last Or Being Dropped Off First And Having A Bunch Of Losers Who Can't Afford Cab Fare And Have No Friends Or Loved Ones With Cars Knowing Exactly Where You Live.

You Don't Cruise The Internet Looking For Your Name And Walk Away With A Good Feeling. So, I Never Do It.