For Me, Being A Woman Suits What

A Good Fart Joke Makes Me Bawl With Laughter, So Will Somebody Farting. And The Word 'poo.' You Can't Beat A Good Poo Joke.

I Wouldn't Say I Was Grumpy. It's More Pathological - I Have Seismic Tantrums. I Get Red In The Face And Cry At Least Three Times A Week, And I Have To Lie Down And Have A Nap Afterwards.

I Can't Tan Naturally.

I'm A Schizophrenic Mix Of Wannabe Glamourpuss And Absolute Slob, And My Style Is Very Much Magistrate-meets-barmaid.

I've Just Got Crap Hair. Although I Inherited A Lot Of Stuff From My Dad, Including Giant Knees, I Didn't Get His Good, Thick Hair. I Got My Mother's Thin, Wispy, Non-event Hair Instead.