Found A Bunch Of Old Shower Caps

Full House Was A Show That Was Done For Ten-year-olds. The Critics Hated It. They Said Terrible, Terrible Things About It. But It Should Have Been Reviewed By Ten-year-olds. That's Who It Was Made For. They Loved It. And If They Loved It, Great. Why The Hell Does A Fifty-year-old Guy Working At A Big Newspaper Have To Tell Me I'm A Piece Of Crap?

Just Went To A Lovely Catholic Wedding. I Need A Drink. They Didn't Even Offer Us Water. Well They Did, But It Was Holy Water.

I Have Three Kids, The Oldest Is 18 And Her Friends Are Going To See It The Aristocrats Because They Told Her They're Going To See It, Especially Her Guy Friends.

I Love Watching People Get Hit In The Crotch. But Only If They Get Back Up. If Their Teeth Are Bleeding, If They're Really Hurt, If An Ambulance Has To Come, I'm Not Laughing.

Sundays Are A Good Day To Look At The Limitless Possibilities Of The Week Ahead. The Key Is To Prolong That Feeling By Not Reading The News.