Getting Out Of The Hospital Is A

For Some Of Us, Watching A Miniseries That Lasts Longer Than Most Marriages Is Not Easy.

When Mothers Talk About The Depression Of The Empty Nest, They're Not Mourning The Passing Of All Those Wet Towels On The Floor, Or The Music That Numbs Your Teeth, Or Even The Bottle Of Capless Shampoo Dribbling Down The Shower Drain. They're Upset Because They've Gone From Supervisor Of A Child's Life To A Spectator. It's Like Being The Vice President Of The United States.

Men Who Have A Thirty-six-tele Vised-football- Games-a- Week-habit Should Be Declared Legally Dead And Their Estates Probated.

It Is Difficult To Single Out One Sport Over Another, But If I Have To Name One In My Separation Suit, It Will Undoubtedly Be Football.

Dreams Have Only One Owner At A Time. That's Why Dreamers Are Lonely.