Have You Noticed When You Go On

Noise Pollution Is A Relative Thing. In A City, It's A Jet Plane Taking Off. In A Monastery, It's A Pen That Scratches.

Quit Worrying About Your Health. It'll Go Away.

It May Be The Way The Cookie Crumbles On Madison Avenue, But In Hong Kong Its The Way The Egg Rolls.

I Love To Watch Those Old Movies On Late-night Television, Particularly When A Couple Get Up From A Champagne Dinner In A Posh Restaurant And The Hero Hands The Waiter $3. But The Best Part Is When He Says, "keep The Change."

It's An Awful Thing To Grow Old By Yourself. My Wife Hasn't Had A Birthday In Seven Years.