Having A Phobia Has Changed Me.

When Something's Over With Me, It's Over.

The Best Cookies Of All In The World Are The Ones My Daughter Sally Makes. They Come Out All Uniform With Nice Little Air Holes.

I Want To Get My Own Show Because 'today' Will Eventually Get Tired Of Me, Or The Audience Will Get Tired Of Me.

Viewers Figure, 'uncle Willard Doesn't Know Any More About The Weather Than I Do.' They're Right.

August Depresses Me A Little. I Don't Even Feel Like Eating. And When I Don't Eat, That's A Sure Sign Of Stagnation.