He Has A 5 Year Plan... What

It's Just Weird That Out Of Nowhere God Said, May The Three Best-looking Guys In Hollywood Have Babies - Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt And Me. It Was Bizarre That God Said, I Want To Make The Planet More Beautiful, And I Got The Call.

My Sisters Are Stronger And My Brother's Bigger Than Me.

He Has A 5 Year Plan... What Is It, Don't Die?

One Night I Couldn't Sleep. It Was Like 2:00 In The Morning. I Was Thinking, 'what Can I Do?' I'm Watching Tv. I'm Like, 'let Me Do Something Else.' I'm Not Going To Fall Asleep For A Few Hours. What Are My Hobbies? There Was The Masturbation Option. I Skipped That Because Just Knowing My Kids Are Down The Hall I Felt Psychotic. So, I Went With Watching More Tv. I Couldn't Come Up With Anything. I Was Going, 'god, Read A Book.' Then I Was Like This, 'where Do I Keep The Books?' I've Got Nothing To Do But Watch Tv.

In One Day, I Have Times Where I'm Feeling Great, I Feel Like I Love My Life, And Then 2:30 Rolls Around And I'm The Angriest Man Alive. My Wife Sees It.