He Is The Cheese To My Macaroni.

Juno: Honest To Blog?

People Are More Interested In Being Visible Than They Are In Loving Other People.

The Rolling Stones Are So Versatile, They're Like The Band Version Of That Infinite Dress They Sell On Qvc.

This Is For The Writers. I Want To Thank All The Writers. I Especially Want To Thank My Fellow Nominees Because I Worship You Guys And I'm Learning From You Every Day.

The Fashion Industry Isn't Merely Content To Encase My Meaty Flanks In Skintight Denim. Oh, No! That Denim Also Has To Be White, A Color That Attracts Ketchup, Wine, Garlic Aioli, And Any Other Foodstuffs I Might Otherwise Be Able To Enjoy If I Wasn't Wearing Ridiculously Tight Pants.