Here's What I Knew About Doing A

I Got Love From My Family. I Don't Really Need Love From A Paper, You Know What I Mean? I Can't Get Too Happy Because Somebody Said Something Nice About Me. I Appreciate It, But Let's Not Get It Twisted - This Is Not Changing My Life.

Only Married People Understand You Can Be Miserable And Happy At The Same Time.

I'll Go Back To Comedy Clubs When They Get A Real No-camera Policy, The Same Way They Did With Smoking.

We Americans Commercialize Everything. Look At What We Did To Christmas. Christmas Is Jesus' Birthday. Now, I Don't Know Jesus, But From What I Read He Was The Least Materialistic Person Who Ever Walked The Earth. No Bling On Jesus. He Kept A Low Profile And We Turned His Birthday Into The Most Commercial Day Of The Year. In Fact We Have A Whole Jesus Birthday Season. And Then At The End Of It, We Have The Nerve To Have An Economist Come On Tv And Say What A Horrible Jesus Birthday Season We Had.

I Think Anybody In Front Of A Crowd Is A Comedian.