Home. Wow. I’m Already Calling It Home.

There Was A Dj Who Stayed Up For Eleven Days Straight, The Longest-recorded Period Of Time Anyone Has Ever Gone Without Sleep, And He Started Playing Nothing But Crosby, Stills And Nash, And That's How They Knew It Was Time To Call The Ambulance.

I Swear, Sometimes I Am Convinced My Life Is Just A Series Of Sketches For America's Funniest Home Videos, Minus All That Pants-dropping Business. Except My Life Really Isn't All That Funny If You Think About It.

You Want A Happy Romantic Relationship? Don’t Ruin It By Getting Married.

It's Only In Fairy Tales That Princesses Can Afford To Wait For The Handsome Prince To Save Them. In Real Life, They Have To Bust Out Of Their Own Coffins And Do The Saving Themselves.

But Who Wants To Hang Aroundfrat Guys ? I Want To Be With Guys Who Have More On Their Minds Than Where The Next Keg Party Is. I Want To Be With Guys Who Care About Making This World A Better Place-the Way Andrew Does. I Want To Be With Guys Who Know That What's Important Isn't The Size Of A Girl's Waistband But The Size Of Her Heart-like Andrew. I Want To Be With Guys Who Are Able To See Past A Girl's Outward Appearance, And Into Her Soul-like Andrew.