I Always Fancied Myself More Of An

I've Always Defined Myself As A Writer, I've Never Decided What It Was I Was Gonna Write. [...] I Always Fancied Myself One, But I'm Not. I'm So Far From A Writer.

I Just Want To Do Cool Stuff.

I Am A Man Who Used To Wear The Tights. We Traveled The Country Doing Two Shakespeare Plays For Bored College Students For About A Year. I Think I'd Probably Still Be Doing It Now If I Hadn't Just Randomly Decided To Go To A Sketch Group Audition. That Led To Doing Improv, Which Led To The Daily Show. But It Was Fun While It Lasted.

Once I Found Out How Much An Off-off-broadway Actor Makes, I Was Whoring Myself Out The Next Day.

I Don't Like Gadgets For Their Own Sake. I Like Gadgets That Are Tools. And I Like Simple Gadgets That Do One Thing Really Well Like A Hammer.