I Always Imagine That If I Met

I Am A Guy Who Talks About Bacon And Escalators. Stand-up Comedy Is Very Much A Conversation. It's Very Personal, Stylistically.

One Of The Benefits Of Eating Salad Is That You Can Eat Tons Of It And Never Be Satisfied.

Smiling Babies Should Actually Be Categorized By The Pharmaceutical Industry As A Powerful Antidepressant.

Babies, They Learn How To Walk And They Are Already Trying To Run Away. You Can't Reach The Doorknob, You Only Know Us, Think It Through.

The Entertainment Business Is Such A Strange, Crazy Perception Business That You're Either Given Way Too Much Respect, Like People Saying, "you Should Be The Head Of The Sitcom!" Or You're Given No Respect, Where They're Like, "you Should Audition To Be The Garbage Man That Lives Four Houses Down."