I Am A Male Chauvinist. Who's Been

It's Not A Crime To Get Drunk.

I Made The Mistake Of Watching "a.i." On Cable The Week They Showed It About 792 Times, And I Ended Up Watching It Every Time It Was On.

I Hate The Oscars. The Oscars Make Me Want To Throw Things At The Tv. In The Ancient History Of The Oscars, People Would Go On And Make Political Statements And Get Thrown Off The Stage, But The Last Great Political Statement, I Think, Was When Michael Moore Started Raging Against Bush A Few Years Back. Everybody Booed Him, Even Though I Can't Imagine Hollywood Booing A Guy Who's Bashing Bush. That Was The Last Great Spontaneous Moment On The Oscars.

The Movies That Are Honored At The Oscars Are Always A Certain Type: Old-fashioned. It's A Bunch Of Well-made, Old-fashioned Movies That Support Our Idea Of Ourselves. They Uplift The Human Spirit. That's Why Horror Films Never Even Get Nominated.

Speaking Of Things That'll Make Your Head Explode, "dragon: The Bruce Lee Story" Finally Made It To The Drive-in