I Am Going To Name A Group

Ex-girlfriends Will Find Themselves In My New Routine. Sometimes They Like That, And Sometimes They Definitely Do Not. But Comedians Should Come With A Giant Warning Or Disclaimer: If You Date Me, It Will Be In My Act.

Start Each Day Out The Holy Way..with Christ Chex, It's A Miracle In A Bowl. Just Open The Box And You Hear Ahhhhh....and Then A Lil' Angel Flies Out And Says 'good Morning, Life Is Beautiful!'.

If You Take A Negative, Turn It Inside Out, It's Still A Negative. You're Just Revealing The Ugly Inside Of Negative So I Say Keep It As Is.

We Never Had A Pool, Right. So One Summer, I Remember. My Dad, To Make Me Happy. You Know I Was Bummed Out Cause We Didn't Have The Pool. So One Summer He Bought Us This Thing. It Was Yellow, You Laid It On The Lawn, Sprayed It With The Water, Run Across. Slip N' Slide. Yeah. Would Have Been Fun If Dad Checked For Rocks Before He Laid It Down! Slip N' Bleed From The Anus They Should Have Called This Ride.

I Was Doing Comedy In Laundry Mats In 1992, Literally Where I Would Bring A Little Gorilla Amp And A Lapel Mike And Just Start Performing.