I Am Not Into Publicity. I'm Not

You Know How Some People Have Gay-dar? I Have Fat-dar. I Can Automatically Tell If You're Fat Or Not. And I Also Have Cerebral-palsy-dar.

My Real Last Name Is Galifianakisburg.

The Congressmen And Senators Used To Go Have A Drink In D.c. They Would Disagree All Day Long, But They Would Find That Time To Sit Down And Learn About Each Other Personally. I Think That's Totally Wiped Out; I Don't Think It Really Exists Anymore.

American Society Loves To Prop People Up And Then Take Them Down.

I Watch A Happy Person Doing Stand-up, And I Go, "what The Hell Is This? This Person's Happy!" You Need Internal Conflict. You Need The Guy To Be Out Of Step With Society. It's A Tool For Comedy.