I Am 39 Years Old, And I

They've Got Great Parents; I'm Just Trying To Be The Fun Uncle.

When I Was 17, I Read A Profile Of Carol Leifer. Since Then, I Wanted To Be Her. I Still Want To Be Her.

I Buy Water At The Liquor Store Across The Street From Where I Live. So I'm Walking Into The Door, And Standing, Loitering, Outside The Door Is A Man. And I Walk By Him To Go In, And He Says, "i Want Pussy!" Now, I Don't Want To Seem Conceited Or Anything, But He Was Talking About Me!

By The Time I Would Have Graduated, At 22, I Was A Writer And Featured Performer On Saturday Night Live.

I'm Very Lucky In That I Still Experience Highs And Lows. And I Think Those Lows Are Important. But I Am Not Totally Paralyzed, And It Keeps Me From Just Complete State Of Paralysis - And Emotionally And Really Kind Of Almost Physically.