I Asked God For A Bike, But

A Friend Of Mine Gave Me A Philip Glass Record. I Listened To It For Five Hours Before I Realized It Had A Scratch On It.

I Was The Kid Next Door's Imaginary Friend.

Everyone, Everywhere, And All The Time, Used To Laugh At Me When I Was Growing Up. So, When I Was Around 18, I Thought, 'i'll Become A Comedian, And Then If Everyone Laughs At Me, I'll Be Famous.' So I Went On Stage One Night And, For The First Time In My Life, Everyone Stopped Laughing At Me.

I Was Walking Home One Night And A Guy Hammering On A Roof Called Me A Paranoid Little Weirdo. In Morse Code.

I Love Florida. I Love The Beach. I Love The Sound Of The Crashing Surfers Against The Rocks.