I Call My Balls The Bush Twins.

You Save 15 More Minutes Of Sleep If You Are A Man And You Don't Have To Shave.

When I Do Stand-up For A Long Time, I'll Get Burned Out, Then I'll Get An Acting Gig. For Me, The Grass Is Always Greener. I'd Like To Do A Mixture Of All Of It. My Goal Is Just To Do Small Movies That I've Written. That's What I'm Trying To Do Now, Just Write Smaller Movies.

There's More To Life Than Being An Actor In A Hollywood Movie. I'm Not Going To Adapt My Life After That Existence, Where A Lot Of People Do. And They Get The Publicist, And They Get All That Stuff, And It Becomes Them. I Think It's A Stupid Way To Live Your Life. A Really Dumb Way To Live Your Life.

My Real Last Name Is Galifianakisburg.

The Whole Thing About Working In Front Of The Camera Is To Make People Laugh When They're Not Supposed To.