My Real Last Name Is Galifianakisburg.

I Get Burned Out On Standup. But I Like Acting. I Do Like It. But Sometimes You Just Feel Like A Monkey. You Just Feel Like A Complete Tool. But I Like It. I Do Like It. Stand-up Is Just More Free. A Lot More Freedom Because You Just Do What You Want To Do.

That's One Of The Great Things About Comedy: We Can - And Should - Say The Things That Other People Aren't Supposed To Say. If We Didn't Do That, If We Didn't Push Against Those Limits, We'd Just Be Standing Around Onstage And Yelling.

You Know, Sometimes If You Work - If You Do A Lot Of Takes And You Work Long Hours, For Me, At Least, There Is A Delirium That Starts Kicking In On The Fifteenth Hour, And That Can Help. Below The Just Thirteenth Hour Is Where I Have A Concern, Because Everybody's So Tired.

I've Been Happily Dedicated To The Same Woman For A Number Of Years. I Never Even Look At Other Women.

I'm An American So Its Kind Of Hard For Me To Talk About 9/11. So Whenever Someone Brings It Up In A Conversation, I Say "i Didn't Like 9/11."