I Caught On Fire Twice On The

Don't Jack Off A Cactus, You'll Only Hurt Your Hand And The Cactus' Feelings

I Have A Homosexual Crush On Most Adolescents.

I Can't Stop Bleeding And I Can't Stop Having Sex With Corpses.

I Told My Dad 'yeah, I’m Going To Be A Drummer', And He Said 'well, If You Can Rub Your Stomach At The Same Time As You Pat Your Head At The Same Time You’re Standing On One Leg And Kicking The Other One Out In A Circle And Say The Pledge Of Allegiance'. And I Did All That Just Like Bam, You Know?

I Wanna Survive An Avalanche. I Wanna Be One Of Those People A Dog Finds Buried Under A Ton Of Snow, Almost Dying Of Starvation.