I Detest Acting Because It Is Sheer

I Did What I Could To Inflate The Rumor I Was On My Way To Stardom. What I Was On My Way To, By Any Mathematical Standards Known To Man, Was Oblivion, By Way Of Obscurity.

My Progress Reminded Me Of The Horses In The Whip. They Raced At The Limit Of Their Speed Directly Toward The Audience. But They Raced On A Treadmill Which Canceled Out Their Progress.

Going Down On A Woman Gives Me A Stiff Neck, Going Down On A Man Gives Me Lockjaw And Conventional Sex Gives Me Claustrophobia.

If I Had To Live My Life Again, I'd Make The Same Mistakes, Only Sooner.

They Used To Photograph Shirley Temple Through Gauze. They Should Photograph Me Through Linoleum.