I Don't Aim To Offend.

The Desire To Be A Politician Should Bar You For Life From Ever Being One.

Before You Judge A Man, Walk A Mile In His Shoes. After That Who Cares?... He's A Mile Away And You've Got His Shoes!

I Always Look Skint. When I Buy A Big Issue, People Take It Out Of My Hand And Give Me A Pound.

I Worry About Ridiculous Things, You Know, How Does A Guy Who Drives A Snowplough Get To Work In The Morning. ... That Can Keep Me Awake For Days.

What Is It With Mcdonald's Staff Who Pretend They Don't Understand You Unless You Insert The 'mc' Before The Item You're Ordering? It Has To Be A Mcchicken Burger...a Chicken Burger Gets Blank Looks. Well, I'll Have A Mcstraw And Jam It Into Your Mceyes, You F**cking Mctosser!