I Don't Aim To Offend.

It's My Mind, And I Reserve The Right To Change It As Often As I Like.

What Always Staggers Me Is That When People Blow Their Noses, They Always Look Into Their Hankies To See What Came Out. What Do They Expect To Find?

I'd Always Been Scared Of People With Tertiary Education And High Intellects In Case They Found Me Wanting. I Thought They Viewed Me As Just A Welder Who Knew A Few Jokes.

Paddy Was In The Delivery Room When The Midwife Handed Him A Black Baby. "is This Yours?" She Asked "probably" Said Paddy "she Burns Everything Else"

I Set Out To Be A Cross Between Lenny Bruce And Robert The Bruce - My Main Thrust Was The Body And Its Functions And Malfunctions - The Absurdity Of The Thing.