I Don't Get No Respect

They Took A Survey: Why Do Men Get Up In The Middle Of The Night? Ten Percent Get Up To Go To The Bathroom And 90 Percent Get Up To Go Home.

Once I Opened Up A Fortune Cookie And Inside Was The Guy's Cheque Next To Me I Said Hey Buddy I Got Your Cheque He Said Thanks.

Everyone Says That Looks Don't Matter, Age Doesn't Matter, Money Doesn't Matter. But I Never Met A Girl Yet Who Has Fallen In Love With An Old Ugly Man Who's Broke.

She Was So Fat That Her Clothes Are Made By Omar The Tent Maker.

I'll Tell You One Thing, I Know How To Satisfy My Wife In Bed, Yeah, I Leave.