I Don't Hate Anyone. I Simply Block

You Know What I'd Like To Be Able To Do More Than Anything Else? I'd Love To Be Able To Shoot Spaghetti Out Of My Fingertips. Pppptthhh! Cause No One Wants To Be Covered In Spaghetti. No. If I'm On A Date With A Girl And She's Very Rude, I'd Be Like, You Know What? Pppptthhh! Enjoy Your Spaghetti, You're Very Rude. Enjoy Your Spaghetti, Cause You're Rude. Pppptthhh!

It Really Drives Me Banana Sangwich.

If You're 1 Of The 3 Girls In Pics With A Greaseball Whose Arms Are Around You At A Club You Lose At Life. If You're The Greaseball You Win.

I Have Faith In All Mankind. Well,not Faith Really, More Like Hopeful Suspicion. And Not "all" But 5 People. Mankind Meaning Computers.

I Always Thought That If I Got No Love At All Early In My Standup Career, Or I Was God Awful, I Thought I'd Get Into Psychology.