I Don't Know Anything About Politics. Like,

A Lot Of Writers Come From Harvard And Such, And Are Rich, And They Write Under The Misapprehension That Poor People Are Stupid. So When They Do Write Them, They Are Hillbillies Or Rednecks Or Christian Idiots.

They're Like ''you're An Alcoholic.'' I Go ''no, I'm Not.'' And Then-apparently That's What Alcoholics Say Too, You Know?

After Months Of Speculation, The Sitcom Star Ellen Degeneres Admitted That Yes, She's Gay. Inspired By Her Courage, Today, Diet-guru Richard Simmons Admitted That He Is Really, Really, Really, Really Gay.

I Like Doing A Funny Show Where I Don't Have To Act And Fall In Love With A Girl.

With The Ambitious, The Failure Of One Expedient Is The Suggestion Of Another; But With The Irresolute, Defeat Usually Occasions Abandonment Of Purpose.