I Don't Like To Drink Alone 'cause

Today Is The First Day Of The Rest Of Your Life. And If That Doesn't Work Out For You, Tomorrow Is The First Day Of The Rest Of Your Life.

Found A Bunch Of Old Shower Caps In My House. Was Gonna Throw Them Out But Realized They Make Excellent Porta Potties For Long Road Trips.

The Secret To Raising Children Is To Love Them... And Teach Them To Operate In A Way You Can Tolerate Them The Best.

Around Comics, I've Always Been Known For, Oh, That's Not Dirty, This Is Dirty.

My Favorite Dylan Song? I Think It's 'just Like A Woman.' It Always Makes Me Cry.